A train of thoughts...

Lazy daze…
Are these lazy days of mine over? Am I still in a daze? Did not have much inspiration or mood to pen down stuff in my blog for the past week… At times, just feel that the energy within me is depleting by the day or may be by the hour every day. Sometimes, just feel that there is this inner voice in me urging me to shut off from the things and people around me. Sometimes, there is simply this pleasure enjoying the silence in those quiet moments by myself…

Loneliness versus loneness…
When one is spending time alone, I feel that it does not necessarily equate to loneliness. Loneliness is a negative feeling, it could be the pain and unhappiness of being alone. One can have many friends, a successful career and loads of money but still feel terribly lonely… On the other hand, there is a possibility that one could find joy in being alone. You wake up and just feel and do anything you like, one would probably need these quiet and self-owned moments at times. Well, that could be loneness, thought I came across this word before. Well, I must say I got to really experience and enjoy these joyous and quiet moments to myself. There is beauty in silence in those moments…
“I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.” ~ Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Mothy attack…
Just last Thursday, my room was invaded by a moth, about three centimetres by two centimetres. It was late at night when I discovered it. It was fluttering all over my room, simply refused to get out from the opened window in my room, or was it just lost? I was kinda irritated by it and it was time to go to bed. I knew I could not share my room and spend the night with that moth! Thus, decided to sleep in my parents’ room. It was a king size bed and can you imagine how many times I could turn on that bed?! Has been quite some time since I have slept with Mummy…enjoyed the night and the sleep, have been sleeping there since :P The windows are pretty huge, thus was able to see the sky at night from the bed. Just before I closed my eyes for the past few nights, I would gaze at the sky in the night…hug my bolster, take a whiff of my blanket and slowly find myself in dreamland…

Survival…
I was so tired of food from outside for the past week that I decided to have just plain bread and Milo for a few meals. My mummy is very capable of cooking bland food, she always urges us to take less sugar, less salt and less oil. She really means what she says and practises it very often at home. Kinda miss her bland food and the plain porridge that goes with those dishes.
Decided to cook last weekend but of course, gotta share those cooked food so invited Mark and Derrick over. Ha, not so sure if I am sharing joy though. You see, I am not really a great cook but I guess simple dishes still manageable. Like working on a piece of art, it could be therapeutic to cook at times. My mummy has somehow taught me simplicity in cooking :P Went to the wet market near my place in the morning, I must say it was quite a good experience, have not been there for quite some time. I remember there was once I tried to buy fish for my mummy from her favourite stall some time back. I took almost ten minutes to tell what I wanted to the fishmonger. There were simply too many aunties around me, all shouting to get the fishmonger’s attention and grab what they needed. There I was, looking stupidly around at those people around me, deciding whether to shout or not. Maybe I am just not used to fighting for stuff in life… Anyway, enjoyed looking at the people and all the happenings in the wet market that morning. There was this old friendly granny who was standing beside me when I was choosing some fruits, she was lamenting about how expensive the pineapples were, she looked at me and shook her head. I just smiled. Every cent does matter to some people in a wet market, most will want to get good deals. Most of all, they swear by the freshness of food bought from the wet market.

Baby…
Sunny baby came over to my place on Sunday. Happy to see him! He seemed to like running all over my place, from the garden to the kitchen to the living room, so curious about my place. Hmm, he’s a good boy, just feel that he seems to have matured a little. But I know that he will always be a baby in my eyes…

…My parents should be back this week. Till then, I am just thankful for those friends and family members who have asked about me while I have been home alone. Thank you for having me in your thoughts…My grandma who is always worried about what I eat, my uncle who texted me to ask about me, my sis and bro have not forgotten to text me to ask if I am surviving (hey, if both of you can do it, I can too k, heh :P), my parents called me to chat a little, Kat dropped by my place to ‘check’ on me, Guiyu invited me to stay at her place and go to her place for dinner…I remember Mark asked me that day if I was scared to live in this big house all by myself. Hmm, I guess my answer is no, this is my home, why should I be? Shouldn’t it be a place that’s safe to go to and of comfort? But hey, if think I might have a slight problem coping with laundry and cleaning of the house if my parents decided to stay longer with my brother :P