Miss Tan and myself were 'chatting' via smses about forgiveness late last night. She mentioned in one of her texts that one may forgive but may never forget. Well, I thought that was quite a good point that I have not seemed to think about. We always ask others to forgive and forget but can we really do both at the same time? She's probably right, sometimes, one can never ever forget even if he or she tries very hard to, or maybe it's a choice never to forget...Well, we kinda agreed that it could all boil down to expectations in a friendship or relationship, we all seem to have different expectations of life and people around us. I always feel that when there are expectations, there are bound to be disappointments. Maybe life is really not so much about meeting expectations of others all the time, it could be tiring. The most beautiful thing about a friendship would be having no expectations of each other at all and just enjoy the moments together, I am sure a few of you reading this would agree with me. The focuses of a friendship would be more on care, love and acceptance. It is kinda true that a friendship is like a garden, it needs maintenance. It takes effort to understand and care. If one values true friendship, he or she will not ever allow anything, any issues or anyone to come between or break this valuable friendship that is shared.
"Sometimes the measure of friendship isn't your ability to not harm but your capacity to forgive the things done to you and ask forgiveness for your own mistakes." ~ Randy K. Milholland
It also just came to my mind what a Father had mentioned during Lissa's church wedding some time back. I guess they were words of wisdom for the couple as well as for all of us. He said that there are four phrases (each with three words) that one must always remember and tell your partner even if you are not in the wrong, they are, "I am wrong."... "I am sorry."... "Please forgive me." and "I love you."
Something to think abt indeed... I have always thought abt the issue of forgiving & forgetting.
ReplyDeleteTo a certain extent, it is true that it is very difficult to forget even after forgiving, especially when you have been hurt bad. But my take on this is that you tend to remember the "incident" in a different way after you forgive... there probably will not be so much negative feelings involved anymore. The fact that you choose to forgive & can bring yourself to forgive means tt you want to put a closure to tt chapter... & tt chapter will gradually fade from your memory over time... details will no longer be tt clear. Well, at least tt is how it works for me...
Snoop dearie, thanks for sharing your thoughts...you are probably right, some things, it could be pain or hurt, could just fade from one's memory as the chapter comes to a closure. Should I say it's the mind or the heart that would play a bigger role here?
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