What's the size of your heart?

I was glad to know that the series “Extraordinary People” would be showing on TV, managed to catch it last Tuesday…Old Auntie Cai is probably about 80 years old. She’s blind coz of an illness a couple of years ago and she is still plagued by a few illnesses. She lives with her husband who has Alzheimer’s disease. One would probably feel that these two elderly need constant care by others. But you are wrong and I’m terribly wrong. Auntie Cai is a very independent elderly. She even makes beautiful baskets and ornaments out of colourful and small little beads, stringing every single bead diligently. Let me repeat this: She is completely blind. The colours of her baskets and ornaments are wonderfully coordinated, you wouldn’t believe it’s made by a blind elderly, well, I am totally impressed, very much impressed by her patience, determination and her skills despite her handicap. Sometimes, these extraordinary people just put me to shame. Auntie Cai seems such a giving and easy going person. She lives with her husband and they are on PA. I still remember she said that she loves to share what she has, be it homecooked soup or using her skills to help others. She mentioned that she can’t bring along all these with her into the coffin when she dies anyway.

Despite her handicap, she is the sole caregiver of her husband, making sure he has proper meals, making sure he takes his medication and taking care of all his daily needs, sometimes coaxing him as if he’s a child coz of his illness. Her husband left her for about I think twenty four years during their younger days. But when he came back to her again, she graciously forgave and accepted him. I feel that the attentive care that she has given to her husband all these years really warms his heart. He did not say it but I seemed to be able to feel it from the way he talked about her. Love is not having him on his knees, proposing with a diamond ring. It is not about spending millions on a lavish wedding dinner. It is probably not even about saying your vows during the solemnization. Old Auntie Cai has taught me an important and extraordinary lesson about love and life that day.

Cause and effect

Cause: Rene said she was very stressed and so she baked. She baked nice cupcakes and pastries. She came over my place and shared with me some today.

Effect: Supposed to cut down on those so called sinful foodstuff like ice cream, pastries and chips, told myself to do that after my holiday trip. But did not and helped myself to those very pretty pastries baked by Rene. Increased level of indulgence of sinful foodstuff upon catching sight of them could contribute to weight gain. Sigh…

Hypothesis: The decrease in the level of stress in Rene will lead to the decrease in the indulgence of sinful foodstuff by me.

Alternatives: Divert Rene’s attention from baking? Go shopping with her more? Get her to go spa to pamper herself a little?

Action start date: Err…err…when would be a good date?

I still have two little cupcakes in the fridge. Hmm, no harm eating one first before thinking of an action plan right? :P Good nite, piggy!

Gift #15 from my angel

Melody Gardot…I remember reading about this singer cum songwriter somewhere. She met with an accident while cycling and that badly injured her. She could not walk for a period of time. She’s walking with a walking stick now and I think her eyes are sensitive to light. But she’s probably an inspiration coz her passion for music sinks deeply in her heart despite her handicap. It’s probably of a story which proves that music heals. When it comes to music, I think we don’t just listen with our ears but it’s more important to listen with our hearts.

When I least expected it, it came…a beautiful gift from Yue Niang Angel, it’s a CD by Melody Gardot, my angel’s second CD for me (beaming with pride and joy!) :) It’s kinda jazz. You know, I always feel that jazz is pretty unique in the sense feelings are pretty much evoked when the singers sing. You could probably feel that sensuality in some pieces and ha, at times, you pretty much feel like swaying to the music, you could feel every note being played in every cell of your body :P…Melody Gardot has a voice which I like very much and I think she is a talented singer too.

It’s a blessing and a joy to give. Dear Yue Niang Angel…you know, you must have got abundance joy in your heart coz you have given much…You have given much of your care and love by being so thoughtful. The best gifts in life can only be felt…

I was a brave gal

My sis left for Basel today. I did not cry and sob like what I did the previous time, gosh, that was so embarrassing! Oh well, this time our tears did well up when we hugged but was not so bad :P Sis, have a good trip back, Mummy reminded you to drink more herbal tea. Hang in there gal, you may be many miles away but know that there are many back home who care a lot about you and I believe there’s one in Shanghai too :P See ya in December!

Hmm, I was thinking and wondering, is there a relationship between bravery and shedding tears? Hmm, maybe not, I guess every one of us has the rights to express his or her emotions regardless of gender or age. It could be so difficult to contain and control them for a long period of time. When was the last time you actually cried your hearts out?...But the next time when someone makes you cry, it does not necessarily mean that that someone has broken your heart, it could mean that someone has touched your heart and moved you to tears. When that happens, enjoy and treasure that moment coz moments like that are priceless.

The Sunday Times 21 June 2009

Singapore’s “Father of Counselling” Anthony Yeo passed away yesterday. This news really came kinda sudden and I could not believe what I read. His words and his sharing of his experiences in his books and articles had brought comfort and enlightenment…I am quite sure he’s a great counsellor and mentor to many in the field of social work and counselling…I am also quite sure he’s ready for eternal rest…He will be remembered and missed…

A Pomeranian was stuffed in a plastic bag, treated like a piece of trash and dumped near a rubbish bin to die. Does anybody know that that’s actually a life and not a plastic toy? Is this how we treat a life? What has happened to us? There were tears of anger and sadness welling up as I read about the fate of this seven year old doggie…Thank goodness, he was discovered and on the road to recovery. Get well soon, Pom Pom...

H1N1 virus continued to spread…there have been pieces of news about this every day and now with AYG, precaution level has also heightened and very much strengthened…This virus has stayed long enough. I wish it will go away soon and not cause any harm or worry to people all over the world…I wish that my loved ones will be safe and well.

Freaky Purple

Blogging with Purple!

Nestled amongst old friends and a new friend!

As I came home from the airport that day, the first thing that caught my attention was Purple! He was sitting on the sofa with some other soft toys that belong to my sis. The very next thing I did was to give him a squeeze and sniffed his nose, still got the same smell (For goodness sake, grow up gal!). My sis is back home and so is Purple! Miss ya, freaky Purple!

My sis has been kinda busy being her good friend’s bridesmaid and meeting up with friends and all since she came home, real active social animal these couple of days :P But glad there was time for family meals together. She’s flying back to Basel this weekend…that’s fast but glad she came back this June vacation. But well, Purple will be staying home this time :P Goodness, Sis really ate a big piece of cake from Awfully Chocolate last night! But heh, I must admit it's quite nice, awfully chocolate and banana! She got the one with banana in it :P

While working on this blog post, Angeline, my wonderful colleague and buddy, delivered some of my work stuff from our workplace to my place. Muack muack, love her!! Well, need to get out from denial soon and get started on some serious work this weekend. Hopefully, I am determined enough :P Finally get to see my black planner, kinda a bit hopeless without it at times, can’t depend much on my memory nowadays.

The Paradox of Our Time

Came across this when I was reading a book…

The Paradox of Our Time

The Paradox of our time in history is that we have
taller buildings, but shorter tempers;
wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints.
We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families;
more conveniences, but less time.
We have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge,
but less judgement; more experts, but more problems;
more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly,
laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up
too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much,
and pray too seldom.

We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values.
We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often.
We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life;
we’ve added years to life, not life to years.

We’ve been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble
crossing the street to meet the new neighbor.
We’ve conquered outer space, but not inner space.
We’ve done larger things, but not better things.

We’ve cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul.
We’ve split the atom, but not our prejudice.
We write more, but learn less.
We plan more, but accomplish less.
We’ve learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information to produce
more copies than ever, but have less communication.
We’ve become long on quantity, but short on quality.

These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men,
and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.
These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more
leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition.
These are days of two incomes, but more divorces;
of fancier houses, but broken homes.
These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers,
throwaway morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies,
and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill.

It is time when there is much in the showroom and little in
our heart’s room; a time when technology can bring this letter to
you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight,
or to just delete it.

~ Dr. Bob Moorehead

(The above essay appeared under the title “The Paradox of Our Age” in Words Aptly Spoken, Dr Moorehead’s 1995 collection of prayers, homilies and monologues used in his sermons and radio broadcasts)

Hmm, not sure what to comment on after reading this, I guess the content says it all. Maybe we should take time to think about this insightful paradox…

Sunny baby?

Bought this little soft toy at the airport in Bangkok, it just had a way of catching my attention, maybe of its resemblance of Sunny baby and its fur is so soft, just like Sunny’s. Hmm, it’s probably just that his eyes are different from those of Sunny’s, very different…you know, it just feels so good looking into Sunny baby’s endearing eyes : )

Doodle or art?

I like to doodle at times, I have read somewhere that doodling helps one to be stay attentive during a lecture. I would like to agree with that. Ha, the next time you see me doodle, it does not mean that I am not paying attention, I really need to do that :P I saw some paper and a well-sharpened pencil in the hotel room in Krabi and decided to draw and doodle a little. I am not so sure why I drew this but thought maybe it’s inspired by the waves I saw, or it could be the petals of orchids that I have seen often during the trip. Was thinking of a name or a kinda phrase for it…

The Land of Smiles - The friendship and the people

Friendship…We talked about quitting our jobs to become florists, I was supposed to master the art of floral arrangement and she was supposed to do web design. While we were in Hawaii, island hopping, we talked about becoming wedding planners, coordinating weddings for couples. That was after we had watched many TV programmes about jobs of wedding planners and how they planned weddings in Hawaii. Ha, think we even talked about some details, roles and responsibilities. Heh, gals’ talk. After these few years, well, we are still doing what we are doing…But anyway, hey gal, know what, wedding planners or not, I think the most wonderful thing would be to be able to attend your wedding, I will be looking forward to that, ha, I will be waiting patiently :P Thanks gal, for sharing wonderful memories with me, for your patience and understanding in this friendship that we share…

People… the Thai are pretty friendly people and the hotel staff that we have met during the trip were so attentive that we kept singing praises of them. Even the gardener turned and greeted us. We were thinking it must be real tough working under the hot sun the whole day and despite that, his smile was still full of warmth and it was so sincere. We were wondering if they ever complained about work. You know, sometimes there’s just much to learn even from a gardener. I was telling Jiaqi that maybe they are just thankful that they have a job and probably that’s of utmost importance to them. They know they must work hard and put in their very best in whatever they do, even if they were chambermaids, bell boys, beach boys or gardeners. Hmm, I guess it’s not what we are but it’s probably how we do it. I know I am gonna miss the smiles of those people from the Land of Smiles : )

The Land of Smiles - Food

There's always space for dessert...red ruby was a gem with crunchy chestnut, coconut ice cream was not too sweet, flavour was rich and worked very well with a generous serving of lotus seeds.

We are known to be capable of finishing one big fish :P Great sauce, sweet, sour and spicy. It was sizzling hot and went very well with the fish.

Afternoon tea at a cafe at Paragon...nice tiramisu!

Taking a short break from shopping...Real nutty and crunchy!

Sashimi at Fuji!

Actually, there were more that we ate...too gulity to confess, ha! I think both of us have piled on kilos after this trip, well, it's not as if we were that thin before this trip :P Now that holiday trip is over, better work on getting back in shape!

The Land of Smiles - Shopping

Did that mostly in Bangkok. Ha, shopping didn’t feel that hectic without Kat. She always had lotsa things to buy when we were in Bangkok for the past two years :P Goodness, she loves to feed her friends with lotsa of food too. But you know, she has been like an elder sister to us, I know she always cares so much for us and protecting us like a mother at times, ha! Kinda miss having her around and her thunderous laughter this time :)

Well, have used a brand of body moisturizer from Bangkok two years ago and love the one with lemongrass. The smell isn’t too strong and it works well on my skin. My sis helped me to buy a few bottles some time back but all used up. Thus, this time, bought quite a few bottles back. Ha, those body, mind and soul stuff constitutes the bulk of my shopping over in Bangkok. Heh, I think all of us should try to pamper ourselves and our bodies at times :P

While I was paying for a set of PJ that I have bought, Jiaqi was kinda ‘caught’ by a sales promoter cum make up artist for a make over. He, or should I say she :P, added some colours to Jiaqi’s face. I should say our dear Miss Tan looked beautiful after that, ha, the important thing was she bought a bottle of make up stuff after that and that wasn’t really cheap. The next moment, the sales promoter was eyeing my face, wanting to create a piece of art out of my face. But I politely declined. Not used to having make up on my face, let alone on my relaxing day, prefer to have my face in its bare self on days like that. Oh well, maybe except for a bit of sunscreen and foundation :P

Was looking closely at my eyes in the mirror one of those nights at the hotel. Goodness, those lines beneath my eyes seemed to be more complicated than the Japan rail. I know I cannot handle Japan rail when I was there a few years ago, oops, let alone those beneath my tiny eyes :P I gave a sigh and vowed to be more diligent in applying my eye cream, day and night, when I got back home.

I guess age is catching up but it seemed that we used to be able to walk and shop the whole day but now, every somewhat like three hours, gotta sit and rest at a café. We decided to pamper our feet by having a foot spa at Paragon Siam Square. While have our foot wrap, we were given a head, shoulder and back massage too! Wow, a great deal and certainly pampering for our tired bodies. I think I fell asleep at some point of the one hour half treatment.

The Land of Smiles - The journeys

To get to the town, Ao Naung, we gotta kinda climb the side of a mountain, not literally to climb but walk on and climb some kinda wooden steps. We were told that the whole journey from the resort to the town would take about twenty minutes and it’s only meant for resort guests. Well, after we went through that, we believed that the so called twenty minutes might be meant for those professional trekkers. You know, missing one step at some parts of the journey is certainly no joke. Ha, we were walking like two aunties, gripping hard to the wooden railings at the side, having our full attention and concentration on every plank that we stepped on. We had muscle aches the very next day and decided to give the town a miss, decided to just laze by the beach and read :P Sigh, city gals…

This is kinda like the resort’s jetty, I was pretty excited seeing that when we first reached the resort. But trust me, it was not easy walking on that, especially when the current was real strong. I felt like a surfer surfing on a ‘surf board’. Nah, let me rephrase that; I felt like a lousy surfer on the ‘surf board’. It was kinda difficult to balance, let alone walk on that. Jiaqi said she would probably get sea sick walking on that for long. I wouldn’t disagree. But you know, while walking on that, I was kinda fearful that I might fall but I was also feeling kinda thrilled walking on it. That day, after we have checked out and had to make our way to that resort’s jetty, we were pretty apprehensive about walking on that as it was a rainy day and it was pretty slippery. We took our first few steps, I was trying to balance myself by stretching my hands. There came a strong current, I was wobbling and someone held my hand, I turned and saw an assuring smile. It was one of the staff who was seeing us off at the jetty. She held my hand all the way to the motor boat and ensured that we board safely. I thought that’s really sweet and nice. She must be thinking these city gals probably never got a chance to experience this *embarrassing*:P Well, if I were to stay there long enough, I will make sure I conquer this journey by walking till the end.

The Land of Smiles - The sea (Krabi)

Frankly speaking, the incident in Hawaii a couple of years back has kinda left an impact on me. You know, at that very moment, I really thought that I was not gonna see my loved ones anymore, that was really a terrible feeling. Well, still love the sea but still a little fearful about sea sports, just a little bit. Ha, probably my bones are also too old and creaky for those adventurous sea sports. I remember when I was much younger, was so gungho to try everything, from rafting, kayaking, snorkeling to diving, almost tried anything that's available. Heh, but now, just like to enjoy the beauty of the coastline and the vastness of the ocean. The sand at the beach near to the resort was real soft, felt like walking on a carpet at times, one could even dance on it! Always love to walk along the coast, barefooted, feeling the breeze caressing my face and listening to the melodious sounds of waves as they hit the shore. With the sunset, it was just simply calming and beautiful, it was so easy to break into a smile.

The Land of Smiles - Accommodation

This big room at Centara could easily sleep four

Besides the bed, another thing I like about the room is the bathroom. It could easily be the size of a room in a condo. Well, with this kinda bathroom, those who know me well enough would probably know the amount of time I spent for each shower :P

The resort's jetty, we were received by the front desk people and the security guard here.

Friendly staff from the resort picking us up from the jetty. Thank goodness we didn't have to carry our luggage, can you imagine how heavy they were after much shopping at Bangkok :P

Centara Grand, the view from the motor boat

Have been staying at Novotel at Siam Square for the past few times we gals were in Bangkok. According to them, good location, indeed it is. As for Krabi, we picked Centara Grand. I would say it’s really exclusive, there is no way one could travel there by road. We had a half an hour drive from the Krabi airport to a jetty and the resort’s motor boat picked us up. I really like the peacefulness and quiet in that resort, have always preferred private beach area too. There was no crowd, no pubs, no loud music…one could just hear the frogs croaking and sounds made by different kinda insects at night. If we opened our balcony door, we could hear the sounds of waves but at the risk of having mosquitoes in our room. Service was great, very attentive, efficient and friendly staff I must say. Ha, simply enjoyed being pampered like a princess. Of course, a princess who’s appreciative of the little things they did to make our stay a relaxing and enjoyable one.

Fly away...

I knew I had to get out for a while this June holiday, decided to explore Krabi, probably miss the sounds of waves since my Bali trip in April…Have always wanted to go Krabi, will fly to Krabi via Bangkok and so decided to stop over at Bangkok for a few days. Ha, I thought I was in Bangkok last year too :P Hmm, I must try to make sure I fly out of South East Asia end of the year. Right in front of me now is a cup of some kinda tonic that my mummy will make me drink whenever I am travelling, some kinda they call it ling yang with some other dunno wat herbs brewed together (see pic). Mummy said it will remove heatiness. Oops, she just came into the room to check if I have finished every drop of it. Help me, the most difficult part is swallowing it, dun like the taste at all. Well, stop being such a baby! Considering my mummy took much effort and time to brew it, I will gulp down the whole cup of it. Thanks Mummy!! …gulp…gulp…goodness, I think I need a mint now :P Now, the next thing I dread about travelling is packing, I am kinda not done yet and have got a real early flight to catch tomorrow morning, gotta go…time to flap my wings and fly...

Oh yes, dearest Sunny baby, have been thinking of you and miss ya dearly. Hope that you are doing fine and have been a good boy. See ya real soon, muack!

A conversation within me...

“I dun wanna go to work and be on duty tomorrow! My energy level is dwindling and probably at red alert!”

“If you don’t think every day is a good day, just trying missing one.” ~ Cavett Robert

“Hmm…maybe something beautiful and interesting will come out of tomorrow…”

Me and myself

One of the nights during our camp, a group of my colleagues were having supper together and we were talking about introverts and extroverts. We realised that almost all of our colleagues are kinda introverts. I think none of us is fully an introvert or completely an extrovert, it’s just how much of each you have. Maybe as Asians, we tend to have more of the introvert element. We choose to keep to ourselves sometimes, be more in touch with our own thoughts and just feel that we do not need people to be around us or to express ourselves openly. However, at times, given some situations, we know we need to interact and maybe some of us take pleasure in enjoying and sharing certain moments with others.

I remember there was one day not too long ago, I was walking alone along Orchard Road on a weekday, there were still quite a number of people walking along the street despite being a working day. All I saw were unfamiliar faces around me. Some say familiarity brings about comfort. Hmm, I probably beg to differ, it was a comfortable moment for me then and I kinda enjoyed it. I thought I was getting in touch with my own thoughts while walking along that busy street, not concerned at all about striking a conversation and probably not wanting to. People walking past me…they would not know me at all, they were too engrossed in their conversations with others, too busy with their schedule for the day, too bothered by the day’s happenings. You know, sometimes, I feel that we spend too much looking at the outside and what’s going on around us but spend too little time looking at what’s within us. That day, along Orchard Road, in the hustle and bustle of life, amongst many people, in the midst of noises…I see and sense silence within me…

Array of colours

Was walking along the streets near Bugis that day and saw this row of shophouses with those colourful staircases, thought it was pretty captivating, they just made me stop and kinda attracted me to take a second look at them. I stood there for a while…well, no matter which end you look at it from, it’s still colourful, it’s still attractive.

Cool!

Last Friday, was hanging out with Jiaqi in the afternoon. Frankly speaking, was dying to get out of my workplace that day, have had enough for that week. Anyway, we were shopping aimlessly for a while and us being us, we decided to have some food at Shokudo. Nice food I would say, we shared a Unagi tofu salad (I am going to try making this myself one of these days :P) and a tempura snack. Too hungry, finished everything before I could take any pictures of them, ha! But managed to take a picture of the dessert we ordered. It was shaved ice, with chewy mochi, chestnuts and a generous serving of Japanese red beans. The syrup that went into the ice was not too sweet, just good enough to bring about that cooling, chilling and pleasant effect with every mouthful of ice shavings that melted in my mouth. Real shiok and cool for a hot afternoon!Not sure if it was the food but it was a great afternoon. Oh yes, we talked about our past travel experiences and really had a good laugh over what we did and some of our embarrassing moments. Ha, thanks gal for those silly but yet memorable moments! We are certainly looking forward to our trip coming week…shop, eat and laze, basically the agenda is about being lazy. What a wonderful agenda! The best agenda I have ever set and prepared so far, ha! You know, one would probably understand how important a schedule, a deadline or a timeline would be for work purposes but in our own private lives when we are not at work, these are probably kinda meaningless to me. It’s too tiring to be dictated by deadlines and schedules all the times in my life. Too much of these just irk me at times.

My cup of tea

Last Sunday, I remember it was a real hot afternoon but still decided to make myself a cup of hot tea, probably craving for the bitterness in it. Always love the bitter taste the tea would leave behind on my tongue. You know, interestingly and maybe ironically, the bitterness is probably the most attractive and beautiful part of drinking tea.

Connection

My sis and I were texting each other last night…

XF: Do you want anything from Swiss?
XW: Hmm, nah, nothing…Juz want u 2 be back n purple too…

My sight

I see cynicism, I see positivity, I see sarcasm, I see enthusiasm, I see grudges, I see forgiveness, I see despair, I see hope, I see regrets, I see acceptance, I see indifference, I see excitement, I see hesitation, I see courage, I see doubt, I see trust, I see hate, I see love…

What do you see? Or should I ask…What do you want to see?